“Uni’s get all the credit; nobody cares about the Deutercorns,” thought Amphora.

Amphora was a lonely Deutercorn, some would say the loneliest because he was the only one left.  This was like a free pass to do all sorts of things so for the sake of this blog we have revoked this title from Ampora and just call him sort of lonely (this made Amphora cry Deutercorn tears – which were sharp enough to kill kittens).

If Amphora, the Deutercorn, had a golf green representing his loneliness he would be standing on the fringe holding a hush sign watching Liger Forest putt in the winning putt.  Liger Forest was the bravest, most-noble Unicorn and got credit for everything, even when he didn’t do anything, which was most of the time.  Amphora hated Liger Forest, especially because he was only part Unicorn (which didn’t make sense since Amphora was only about three-quarters himself).  His other half was oriental panda – for some reason no one seemed to notice his black legs, but Amphora did.

Standing there holding the vertical “Hush” sign above his two horns made the Deutercorn feel oppressed.  He tried lowering it, but that didn’t help, it still said the same thing.  It is like everyone was telling him to eat some peanut butter and sell out like his cousin Ed.

Hush.  Hey Deutercorn!  Why don’t you Hush!!!!!!  Hush!!!!!!  HUSH!!!!!!!!!  It was driving him mad… it was as if it was mocking him because he couldn’t speak!!!!!!  Arggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!  The strange thing about this is that Deutercorns can’t read or write (imagine writing with hooves… no please do and tell me what it’s like, I’m betting it sucks.)

Suddenly, the Deutercorn snapped and crowned everyone even the last unicorn, Liger Forest, over the head with his hush sign then followed it up with a corning from his horns.  It was a sad day for corns of all types, shapes, and sizes (it is not always the size of the corn, it is how you use it and boy did Amphora use it).   You would have thought some would have stayed home considering Nostrocornus’s prophecy that the “Forest will fall down and bury the last of the magical things including possibly unicorns or something like them.”  It was like they read thier obituary and just had to see if it was right.  Plus everyone was mesmerized by Liger Forest’s skills with his panda hooves so they had to come and check it out.

When the corning was complete, the Deutercorn took his own life in one swift double-corn maneuver (don’t ask me how that is possible just believe).

Now all the unicorns and other golf playing magical beasts can only be seen in artistic depictions. I think we should all take a moment of our time to sit back and thank the last Deutercorn for doing us all a favor, magical beasts have always been jerks.

Hey hey! I just wanted to let everyone know that tomorrow the second tapestry story from our guest blogger will be posted. To whet your appetite this one is about our unicorn wall tapestries and is, in my opinion, very funny. So check back tomorrow afternoon for some unicorn shenanigans that will give you a laugh.

King Arthur was probably the coolest person ever.  So cool in fact that people actually make things depicting his awesomeness – tapestries for instance.  Arthur was and still is heralded as the leader of the good guys against the bad guys.  Sadly most people get so caught up in his glory that they overlook his little brother Prince Arter.

Arter’s name was actually Arthur as well and surprisingly he can be credited with most of King A’s success. Unfortunately for him, he and the King had very similar names and since he was little, weak, and frail people did not pay much attention to him and gave big K-A all the praise.

Arter was a lot like that drunk, homeless guy that sings all those strange inaudible songs in the street every Sunday, except he had teeth.  It didn’t help Arter’s case that he had a lispy-thing when he talked and reminded everyone of Leo DeCapricorn – the town stud who acted in all the cool plays and got a lot of sympathy due to his affliction with Growing Pains.  He was a hardcore Method actor as well and even went as far as getting Kicked in the Cameron.

But anyway back to Arter.  Actually, who cares about Arter, honestly?  If you want to be cool like the King (“Its good to be the king!”), and score with droves of ladies… then simply get some cool King Arthur tapestry wall art and show them just how Excalibur was extracted from the stone.