“Uni’s get all the credit; nobody cares about the Deutercorns,” thought Amphora.

Amphora was a lonely Deutercorn, some would say the loneliest because he was the only one left.  This was like a free pass to do all sorts of things so for the sake of this blog we have revoked this title from Ampora and just call him sort of lonely (this made Amphora cry Deutercorn tears – which were sharp enough to kill kittens).

If Amphora, the Deutercorn, had a golf green representing his loneliness he would be standing on the fringe holding a hush sign watching Liger Forest putt in the winning putt.  Liger Forest was the bravest, most-noble Unicorn and got credit for everything, even when he didn’t do anything, which was most of the time.  Amphora hated Liger Forest, especially because he was only part Unicorn (which didn’t make sense since Amphora was only about three-quarters himself).  His other half was oriental panda – for some reason no one seemed to notice his black legs, but Amphora did.

Standing there holding the vertical “Hush” sign above his two horns made the Deutercorn feel oppressed.  He tried lowering it, but that didn’t help, it still said the same thing.  It is like everyone was telling him to eat some peanut butter and sell out like his cousin Ed.

Hush.  Hey Deutercorn!  Why don’t you Hush!!!!!!  Hush!!!!!!  HUSH!!!!!!!!!  It was driving him mad… it was as if it was mocking him because he couldn’t speak!!!!!!  Arggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!  The strange thing about this is that Deutercorns can’t read or write (imagine writing with hooves… no please do and tell me what it’s like, I’m betting it sucks.)

Suddenly, the Deutercorn snapped and crowned everyone even the last unicorn, Liger Forest, over the head with his hush sign then followed it up with a corning from his horns.  It was a sad day for corns of all types, shapes, and sizes (it is not always the size of the corn, it is how you use it and boy did Amphora use it).   You would have thought some would have stayed home considering Nostrocornus’s prophecy that the “Forest will fall down and bury the last of the magical things including possibly unicorns or something like them.”  It was like they read thier obituary and just had to see if it was right.  Plus everyone was mesmerized by Liger Forest’s skills with his panda hooves so they had to come and check it out.

When the corning was complete, the Deutercorn took his own life in one swift double-corn maneuver (don’t ask me how that is possible just believe).

Now all the unicorns and other golf playing magical beasts can only be seen in artistic depictions. I think we should all take a moment of our time to sit back and thank the last Deutercorn for doing us all a favor, magical beasts have always been jerks.